a “perfect” mom

Since becoming a mother, I find that I FOOLISHLY get caught into what I think a “perfect mom” is and comparing myself to that. I hate that I do it, but subconsciously I totally do sometimes. Not all at once because that’s when I realize how ridiculous I am being…but, one little thought at a time when I am lacking in a specific area–that is when the thought comes. Why is it we always take our weakest trait of the day or biggest current attribute we are struggling with and compare that to perfection?

When I picture a “perfect” mom I picture….

….. a CLEAN house all the time,

perfectly obedient, respectful children,

 a strenuous workout each and every day,

kids that are adorably dressed with awesome hair do’s,

meals cooked to perfection each night {along with being perfectly healthy},

always dressed to impress,

homemade healthy and cheap baby food,

a house that comes straight from a magazine–decorated on point,

a deep cleaned house without crumbs everywhere,

couponed shopping trips,

always always patient and keeping her cool even if her baby or children go ballistic simultaneously,

serving and volunteering at any and every opportunity,

and; of course

ageless skin and perfectly done hair along the way….

Doesn’t that sound ridiculous that we sometimes hold ourselves to this ideal?? Seriously.
Let’s get real about what my days usually look like::
-hurry kids out the door to school–usually frantically and they usually barely make it before the tardy bell…a lot of times they don’t {I refuse to wake up before 7 😉 }
-kids hair sometimes done, sometimes straight bed head–I’m a solid 50/50 chance either way  🙂
-I get dressed about 60 percent of the time, and am still in work out clothes [though I didn’t work out] 40 percent of the time
-I cook every night, but most of the time NOT masterpieces-just cheap stuff that’s easy and around and QUICK
-I am looking tired these days feeling pretty dang pregnant and I rarely do my hair nor do I really know how….one day I’ll learn
-my house is generally clean downstairs and a wreck upstairs…..anyone else do that? 🙂
-the list could go on…..
you get the point!

 

Satan tries to get a hold of us with this “perfect image” when there is not ONE thing positive about this. To be honest, I don’t even find myself holding this ideal to any one person just the IDEA of it. {so dumb!} But, lately I took time to ponder and write down some traits more purposefully that I genuinely want to STRIVE for::

a mother who LOVES to be with her kids [and they know that she does],

a mother who puts her husband first so her kids know that she loves their Daddy,

a mother who tries hard every day to be a little better,

a mother who chooses to read her scriptures and pray even when there is a mountain of laundry,

a mother who does make mistakes and says sorry and learns from them,

a mother who knows she isn’t perfect and yet is confident knowing she is God’s loved daughter chosen to raise her children,

a mother who views Heavenly Father’s opinion MORE than the world’s,

a mother who does her best to develop talents and continues to learn and try new hobbies,

a mother who takes time to teach her children lessons from the scriptures and the gospel,

a mother who would rather look horrible and serve/bond with her kids rather than ignore them when she really wants to get ready or idle her time away

a mother who tries to be like Heavenly Father….

now THAT is a real mom.

Those traits and my more purposeful list isn’t meant to stress or set a perfect image to lower our self confidence but refocus my efforts and the image in my head instead of the superficial list before that. When I think of the power mothers have, it comes to no surprise to me that so many women struggle with “mom guilt” and “fantastical mother images.” I am sure there is NOTHING Satan wants more than to lower our self confidence and the influence and power we have to influence the world and our families for good. Every doubting thought comes from Satan and I need to be better at quickly dismissing and not dwelling on them when they come. You know what they say “where your mind goes, your energy flows.” And, I know all those thoughts that come are not truth or worth dragging our confidence down or putting our energy.

I know we are blessed with the children we have because we can teach them and they can teach us specifically in more ways than anyone else. I know my children are mine for a reason; and, also I am their mother for a reason too….reasons I may not know right now, but I know it is for a divine purpose from an Almighty God that knows ALL and knew that our spirits were meant to be together in our family. Now, that gives me confidence and reassurance and THAT is where I want to focus my energy always. 

And, one of my favorite quotes ever that says that same thing MUCH better than me from Marjorie Hinckley::
“I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored cothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.  I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.

This picture is from last May, but it has come to be one of my favorite pictures. I was trying to get the PERFECT picture [it was on Mother’s day actually] and so the mister was taking pictures by the beautiful ocean in San Diego of all of us. We of course were going for all smiles with the La Jolla beach behind us; and, instead we got this. Tears, crazy hair, and no-one looking at the camera. But, I love it even more. It shows real life and real motherhood-my family I adore, my sweet Sassy struggling about something [I can’t even recall-definitely real life], J trying to comfort P who was getting sick of pics, and me trying to hold us all together. Life isn’t perfect and I am not perfect, but these little ones love me anyway and I feel truly blessed and thankful for them and my amazing man every single day.

To end my tangent and ramblings 🙂 here are some Mom quotes to remind you how awesome you are and a great place we can send our energy today::

Happy Tuesday!

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9 Comments

  1. SO true!! It’s hard not to hold ourselves to what we sometimes imagined what motherhood should be like. It’s like every time I straighten the living room as soon as I turn around there’s 5 more toys back out. I’ve come to realize it’s living. I’m not giving in to chaos or messy but I’m accepting that I am doing all that I can.

    1. Thanks for coming by and I totally agree-seriously, that toy straightening never ends. {and that’s ok} That means we have happy kids, right?

  2. Satan just loves social media…how perfect to spread his ideas and make us jealous of everyone’s “perfect” life! Sounds like you’ve got great priorities 🙂

  3. Love this, something i am defo struggling with myself!! Stupid social media and their messed up views on what perfection is!!