11 Tips for Raising Your Spirited Child

WELL, let me tell you a story.

As I mentioned in a previous post, this year has been by far the most challenging year of my mommyhood thus far.
My spirited, amazing Sassy has helped me to pray harder, read more parenting books+google searches+articles, and seek advice from family and friends that I’ve needed and confided in. Why? Well…..I guess so far in my years of being a mom I felt I could handle things myself. I actually can run on little to no sleep pretty well, busy toddlers I can handle, 2 kids wasn’t that huge of an adjustment for me….. UN-TIL B’s tantrums, zestfulness, and at times straight up defiance kicked into FULL gear. {don’t worry it’s JUST with me-thank heavens}
Sure enough, I CAN’T do it alone and am learning to rely on the Lord more and more.
My patience is tried DAILY for probably the past 365 days. literally. O-k…maybe 362…I could have been exaggerating. I will never forget certain tantrums or days I’ve had. Actually that’s a lie…there have been so many they really blur together, but there are those stand-out memories that’ll be here a while.
In fact, I’ll text Brade and I’ll say something like this various mornings
when he is at school::
M:: “We had a top 10 tantrum this morning.”
B:: Really? No… not a top 10? [as in, that is too amazing of a tantrum for him to really think she had a top 10 and HE knows what that means]
M:: Yup, definitely top 10- maybe even top 5!
O-K, so what’s the point of all this?
Let me tell you about what I’ve learned in hopes that some other tired, confused mom can draw strength from a few pointers that help me through my rough days.
Here are 11 things I recommend to the momma of a spirited child 🙂
[in no particular order, here we go]

1. GET OUTSIDE. 

I am dead serious.
When I go outside I feel like everyone is happier. {not all the time, but most of the time…especially right now–bea-u-ti-ful} I feel like Vitamin D makes me a better mom and I come back with more energy than I had before.

Poor J barely survived our snuggly selfies. Dont’ be deceived, he loves me. 😉 

2. Don’t compare your child with others.

This goes without saying, but it’s hard sometimes. But, DON’T do it, it is UNFAIR and UNHEALTHY. Not to mention we generally compare our kid’s weaknesses with another kid’s strength. Um, I don’t want to be compared that way, do you?

3. REMEMBER, you’re a good mom. 

Several times I’ve felt like I’m not a good mom because my daughter won’t listen to me and I can’t get her to. But, then I remember, ya know what? I AM a good mom!  Sure, sometimes Sass straight up defies me over and over again. Then, I follow through with my consequences and feel like the bad guy. Results from following through consequences:: she continues to do the opposite of what I say so it feels pointless…BUT, regardless of this phase or whatever we’re going through she KNOWS that I love her…
I think that’s what matters. [along with trying my darnedest…which I am!]
One of THE most comforting quotes I heard during conference was [and believe me, I had a parenting page I was eagerly awaiting to jot notes down on-story of my life right now]:::
Ah, yes! Doesn’t that make you feel better?
This made me feel SO much better and reminded me that I am doing something right.
 
Continue Reading

A Day in the Life of Me

 I am always looking for things to motivate myself to practice my ever-beginner photography skills and the latest project I read about was to do.

“a day in the life of ME.”  {as Mom}
I don’t know about you, but I LOVE little challenges and doable projects. They motivate me and I feel accomplished and learn something along the way. This little photo challenge was just that for me.
It said to break out of only taking pictures of your kids
[um, that’s my favorite thing to do ever of course]
and try to sneak in some of them to capture moments that you want to remember from being a mom doing day-to-day things to document life in this phase… or at least that’s my ramble of what I wanted this little project to be for myself. 🙂
Keep in mind I DON’T have a tripod or a remote like the photography blogger had-though I hear they are relatively cheapish…. {one day–Santa??}
….but I did my best without that and it was fun attempting to capture moments.

Since this has been kind of a busy and crazy time at my house these past couple months with away rotations and being so far along pregnant wise–this project has just been a fun hobby I broke out when I could and the quality wasn’t as important as just documenting…. [maybe one day I can successfully execute both when I have more energy 😉 ]…not to mention I still just plain don’t know what I’m doing a lot of the time 🙂

These of COURSE were not taken all in one day, but I collected them as naturally as I could when regular mommy moments arose where I could sneak in some pictures, and others were just day to day things that happen with my kiddos that I wanted to document of them.

For documenting’s sake I snapped a couple pics after my doctor’s appointment when I found out that I’m dilated to a 4 and 80% effaced at 38 weeks and 1 day last week {TMI?? Sorry, I am an open book after all}…..I figured it may be one of my last before this baby is in my arms. Though, knowing me I could stay a 4 till after my due date. :)…3rd baby, so ya never know!

Off to school with Sissy. We only make it to walking to school about 2-3 days a week.
It’s hard to eat, get dressed, and B’s hair done with time to walk on time when school starts at 7:50! But, we do it when we can get out the door in time.

Morning chore:: J’s FAVORITE chore to do–putting away the silverware. If only he loved cleaning his room with as much enthusiasm as he does helping with the silverware.
But, what can I say?
I am grateful he does like to help with some chores.

1:1 playtime with my little man while B is at school….

Continue Reading

What I Want My Daughter to Know

I love raising a little girl.

Don’t get me wrong, I have mentioned that I have had my challenges and it is a learning process with all the emotions tied to my little Sassy, but I just love being her mom.
On my side of the family there are 10 grandsons and 2 granddaughters–one of which is our very own Sassy…it got me thinking about how grateful I am to raise a daughter at this time on earth.
As I’ve mentioned previously, Sassy is my independent, persistent, intelligent, strong willed, and unpredictable child.  She has helped me grow and has stretched me as a mom and person {and continues to stretch me} more than I knew I needed stretching and I am so blessed to call her mine!

As I am watching her grow up before my eyes, it had me thinking about what I want my daughter to know for herself….mostly because being a girl I know what pressures are placed on you the older you become [and the pressures you put on yourself] along with how much Satan tries to shoot down women’s confidence in themselves. That is why I feel such a responsibility [and privilege] to raise a daughter at this time. I believe that our God given gender holds eternal significance and we are given different unique gifts as men and women. We are either male or female by birth because God made us that way for a reason. That being said, I know that each of my children and myself are meant to be whatever gender we are and meant to be in our little family. I feel blessed to know that…..even our unknown gender babe in utero—whatever that gender is 😉

Anyway, back to Sassy….[just had to throw that in] I know she is meant to be a woman of God and I feel the influence and power she has and will have as she gets older. The influence of righteous women is so expansive and important in our world today. Because of this, I know Satan truly tires himself attempting to bring goodness down and I feel grateful that I get to help combat that early by teaching B truth and of what her REAL worth is.

For fun, here is my favorite quote ever about women of God::
“Women of God can never be like women of the world.  The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender.  There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind.  There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined.  We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith.  We have enough greed; we need more goodness.  We have enough vanity; we need more virtue.  We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”  -Margaret D. Nadauld-

Here are 6 of my personal goals for this angel of mine of the things I hope I have taught her and will continue to expound upon and reteach her throughout her life.

                              1. To KNOW she is loved

FEELING LOVED is so important. When I used to teach school I would see kids who struggled and had challenging home situations where they didn’t receive a lot of love and support at home. I also saw students who were VERY loved at home and could see what a difference it made in their self esteem, achievement, relationships, and successes. I want B to KNOW she is loved “ALL THE TIME NO MATTER WHAT!” I tell her and J every night before they go to bed. I’ll ask, “Do I love you when you’re screaming and yelling at the top of your lungs?” They’ll answer “yes!” “Do I love you when you’re happy?” “yes!” “Do I love you when you’re disobedient?” “yesssss” etc….. I HOPE she {and J} both know that my love is always there for them NO MATTER WHAT.

Continue Reading