What I Want My Daughter to Know

I love raising a little girl.

Don’t get me wrong, I have mentioned that I have had my challenges and it is a learning process with all the emotions tied to my little Sassy, but I just love being her mom.
On my side of the family there are 10 grandsons and 2 granddaughters–one of which is our very own Sassy…it got me thinking about how grateful I am to raise a daughter at this time on earth.
As I’ve mentioned previously, Sassy is my independent, persistent, intelligent, strong willed, and unpredictable child.  She has helped me grow and has stretched me as a mom and person {and continues to stretch me} more than I knew I needed stretching and I am so blessed to call her mine!

As I am watching her grow up before my eyes, it had me thinking about what I want my daughter to know for herself….mostly because being a girl I know what pressures are placed on you the older you become [and the pressures you put on yourself] along with how much Satan tries to shoot down women’s confidence in themselves. That is why I feel such a responsibility [and privilege] to raise a daughter at this time. I believe that our God given gender holds eternal significance and we are given different unique gifts as men and women. We are either male or female by birth because God made us that way for a reason. That being said, I know that each of my children and myself are meant to be whatever gender we are and meant to be in our little family. I feel blessed to know that…..even our unknown gender babe in utero—whatever that gender is 😉

Anyway, back to Sassy….[just had to throw that in] I know she is meant to be a woman of God and I feel the influence and power she has and will have as she gets older. The influence of righteous women is so expansive and important in our world today. Because of this, I know Satan truly tires himself attempting to bring goodness down and I feel grateful that I get to help combat that early by teaching B truth and of what her REAL worth is.

For fun, here is my favorite quote ever about women of God::
“Women of God can never be like women of the world.  The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender.  There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind.  There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined.  We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith.  We have enough greed; we need more goodness.  We have enough vanity; we need more virtue.  We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”  -Margaret D. Nadauld-

Here are 6 of my personal goals for this angel of mine of the things I hope I have taught her and will continue to expound upon and reteach her throughout her life.

                              1. To KNOW she is loved

FEELING LOVED is so important. When I used to teach school I would see kids who struggled and had challenging home situations where they didn’t receive a lot of love and support at home. I also saw students who were VERY loved at home and could see what a difference it made in their self esteem, achievement, relationships, and successes. I want B to KNOW she is loved “ALL THE TIME NO MATTER WHAT!” I tell her and J every night before they go to bed. I’ll ask, “Do I love you when you’re screaming and yelling at the top of your lungs?” They’ll answer “yes!” “Do I love you when you’re happy?” “yes!” “Do I love you when you’re disobedient?” “yesssss” etc….. I HOPE she {and J} both know that my love is always there for them NO MATTER WHAT.

 2. To KNOW she is a daughter of her Heavenly Father

What knowledge can be more important than knowing you are the daughter of our Heavenly Father? Yup, nothing. I hope she knows that and keeps understanding more and more what a blessing it is to have that knowledge and to always talk to Him and pray to Deity anytime she feels sad, lonely, emotional, or happy and wanting to share her thoughts with someone. I HOPE she knows that. I knew this growing up and having that knowledge gave me motivation to make good choices even when I saw friends around me going astray. That knowledge brings such understanding of our personal worth and importance.
The Young Women’s theme says it best:: “I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me and I love Him. I will stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things and all places…”

3. to KNOW that beauty comes from within and to know that she truly IS beautiful

This is a TOUGH one. I feel like teenage years especially are BRUTAL with girls….with all the dang stress on fashion and beauty {which isn’t bad to like fashion or be fashionable…but to idle time away focused on that instead of things that matter, I think that is when it becomes a problem and messes with girls’ brains}. I hope that B comes to know that we are beautiful when we give, when we share our beliefs with others, when we serve, when we smile and laughhug, hold someone’s hand when they are sad, work hard, and are optimistic. I HOPE HOPE HOPE she knows THAT is where true beauty comes from. Don’t get me wrong, this girl KNOWS she is beautiful on the outside–we tell her lots, but hopefully she knows why she really is.

4. to care MORE about what Heavenly Father thinks than what anyone else thinks

This is a little abstract for her at this age, but we still do our best to teach this to our kids through FHE lessons, scripture study, and just conversations. I hope B knows that as much of a people pleaser that she is, that pleasing God is what brings TRUE happiness.….even more than getting an A on a test, or making a friend, even pleasing us as parents…what’s most important is to honor our Father in Heaven by choosing the right and making good choices. I hope she comes to know that it is BEST to care what HE thinks first and foremost.

  5. To KNOW it is O-KAY to make mistakes

The Mr. and I hold our kids to a high standard at our house, and while we do that and they most always live up to and/or surpass that standard–I hope and pray that when she doesn’t she will still knows it is O-KAY to make mistakes and not always be perfect all the time, or the BEST at everything, or earn the special reward every single opportunity. This is something I am constantly trying to let her know. She is my people pleaser as previously mentioned {yup, must be genetic} and loves praise and so she is extra hard on herself if she makes even the littlest of a mistake. I hope she understands that we are here to LEARN and become like the Savior and sometimes we make mistakes and that is o-kay.
We learn from that.
You’re worth never changes, it is ALWAYS the same.
And we are worth EVERYTHING to our divine Heavenly Father.
This is a pic of me as I made a mistake and accidentally hit her with my hand as I was putting it around her for this pic-lol. Ha ha….sad….I just thought it was fitting for a “mistake” picture. lol. And have I mentioned B has the strongest. healthiest lungs ever?

     6. be CONFIDENT and STAND UP for her BELIEFS

This is the age when she will get to start exercising her confidence and standing up for herself in different social situations, and I hope she does. I felt those experiences growing up were character building and testimony building. I remember one day after school last year B told me some little girl in her class told her “only babies watch Daniel the Tiger” {which B just said she liked to watch}. I asked B what her response was and she said, “Look at me! Do I look like a baby?” LOL!! That actually brought me a lot of comfort to me hearing her stand up for herself and in me thinking about her in her upcoming years. I hope she continues to brush off any comments people say that don’t matter or that are unkind, AND that she stands up for the one who is being picked on, and most importantly stands up for what is right and what she believes in.
                                    Look at that stance, it’s hard to envision her anything but confident! lol.
So to lighten this post a little here are some NON DEEP and FLUFFY GIRL things I like to do with Sassy for fun::

   1. Mani/Pedi’s

Okay, don’t be dissuaded…do you REALLY think I would pay to give her and us a REAL manicure and pedicure??! Psh! Yeah right…NOT yet….maybe in 15 years #medschoolproblems
B just loves getting her nails painted and repainted at home and we are slowly accumulating more colors–we used to have like 3.
She picks crazy color combos and it is just a fun girl thing to do together. Poor J feels left out and so I put clear polish on his nails sometimes {shhhh!}.
With that, I’ll add-on VERY special occasions I let her wear lipstick or clear lip gloss….
in this pic it was my electric pink lipstick which is her fav and she doesn’t get to wear often 😉

2. Girl playdates

I have not done NEARLY as many of these as I used to just because J isn’t a baby anymore…but B just LOVES girls’ only playdates. I started these when she was 2 I think and would just invite 3 other girls over and we’d play dolls, kitchen, paint nails, play dress up, and do one craft. Girls are just fun and I get fulfilled anytime we do a girls’ only playdate. 🙂 There’s just something to be said about little girls being little girls together. If you have a little girl, start these–you won’t regret it.

3. MATCHING

I have failed in that I don’t match her literally very often, but even if we wear the same color she is ecstatic about it! We have one twinner maxi skirt i made us a while back, but that’s about it…but she will change her clothes to wear the same colors as me sometimes. I think it is the sweetest cutest thing. I get my fulfillment now from my older sister not wanting to match me growing up while I begged to match her. lol. 🙂 Now, I just need to get more similar clothes so we can more often to further fulfill us 😉

4. Doing Hair

The mister can attest that this does NOT come naturally..I just am kind of “hair dumb” I guess and am pretty simple with how I do my hair. When B was younger we’d be with a bunch of friends and B would visibly be the little girl with the craziest unkempt hair! ha ha, but, I am
s-l-o-w-l-y and surely raising the bar on braiding her hair or trying different hair styles she requests or just plain MAKES UP–yes, some of them are STRANGE! 😉

5. 1:1 time

I BELIEVE in 1:1 time for kiddos…man, it is so clear how much each kid soaks up 1:1 time with mommy and/or daddy. You’d think they were deprived or something judging on how much they soak in the attention. Our new thing {B and I’s} is to stay up 10 extra minutes after bedtime since she is older and read together in her bed. {stole this idea from my friend and it is GOLDEN–I totally steal any and all good parenting tips from my amazing friends btw}  B is learning how to read and she used to sometimes fight it [until we found Dick and Jane books that is], but now she keeps begging to read longer and longer because she LOVES having 1:1 time with me….it goes to show how much she loves feeling important and special and how healthy that is.
[and how good it is for your reading skills 😉 ]
Here’s to trying our darnedest with this whole parenting thing and to raising
confident and loved little girls!

 

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